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Now a days, going out to eat is fearsome. I can handle some take-out restaurants as long as they are tidy, such as a café or coffee shop with less stress because they are quick and I can be in and out fast, but the finer restaurants where the service is slower and the panorama is romantic scares the crap out of me. It's not the dim lights or the romantic atmosphere I'm afraid of. And it's definitely not the prices on the menu. It more complex than that.

To give you some insight on why I have several nervous hours before going out to dinner, read on.

Crowds. Although I can deal with being around a reasonable amount of people, I don't like small places with crowds. I don't like large places with crowds. I don't like crowds at all and try to avoid them but when need be, I tolerate it. Oddly enough, the crowd thing only applies to certain circumstances and places. I've taken many cruises with thousands of passengers and crew, yet that doesn't bother me because public rooms and the general layout of the ship is spacious. I also love busy New York City and go there at least once or twice a month but I'm not thrilled to be around hordes of people in restaurants or stores.

Most emetophobes don't like crowds because we're scared of catching something from them.

Cleanliness. Fancy restaurants are no more hygienic than inexpensive take-out restaurants even though they look nicer and may appear clean. I'm vegetarian and my irrational mind believes I'm less likely to get food poisoning than someone eating seafood or meat. This may not be true for all I know but it's how I think. My concern is also the personal cleanliness of the food preparer. Did they wash their hands before touching the food or could they have done other disgusting things that I won't mention?

Getting sick in public. This is my biggest fear when it comes to eating out. Even if it's just a stomach twang caused from intestinal gas, feeling like this in a restaurant freaks me out and brings on symptoms of a panic attack. Restaurants with sit-down service take longer to eat and leave. The thought of getting a stomach ache or nausea in the middle of dining, and having to sit there smelling food until everyone else finishes their meal and we leave, is horrifying. On top of that, it's embarrassing to tell those I'm with that I'm feeling ill and need to use the bathroom for a while. It's more embarrassing getting sick in their car on the way home.

Having to use public restrooms especially in restaurants. Yuck! (Need I say more?)

I cut down on dining out but I haven't cut it out of my life. I can't. Doing that would raise concerns from family and friends who don't know I'm emetophobic and wouldn't understand if they did.

Dealing with this is not easy so I concocted a few tricks to get through a dinner outing without feeling sick or bloated and without raising suspicion among anyone I'm out with. So here is what I do.

Order a light choice from the menu. If there are appetizers with my meal I eat only about half of it so I'm not full when the main course comes. When my meal comes, I portion off ¼ to 1/3 with my fork and eat only that portion, with a plan to take the rest home. If I start to feel full or bloated before finishing the sectioned off pile, I'll either push the rest over to the "take home" side or I'll subtly hide the food in my napkin when no one is watching. As strange as this sounds, I do this because I'm annoyed with comments about how little I'm eating.

Another trick is to eat very slowly. Chew slow and take long pauses before the next mouthful. Drinking water in between slows it down even more. Eating slow may be better for my digestion but that's not why I do this. It's a way to let my table mates think I'm eating more than I really am.